War Thoughts

Here’s a thought; World War II ended in 1945. Saigon fell in 1975.

One war ended Nazi occupation; the other launched communist occupation.

Today, 2005, we are as far removed from Vietnam as Vietnam was removed from war ravaged Europe.

Thirty years from today, 2035, will my generation look back to find a Euro-like liberation of Iraq, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Syria coexisting with Israel, or, will my generation be standing and staring at another black wall, inscribed with the names of Americans who died trying?

DeLay Should Confer with Jensen

Texas Congressman Tom DeLay should look to Wisconsin and State Rep. Scott Jensen as an example of what he should do (and, should have done) – step down as Majority Leader.

Several years ago now, Democrat and Republican state legislators were accused of illegalities in public office, including then-Speaker, Scott Jensen.

Jensen did the right thing and gave-up his leadership position. His resignation has kept Legislative Democrats from crafting an anti-GOP groundswell with Jensen front and center as their poster-boy.

Today, WI Assembly Democrats hold just 39 of 99 seats - an embarrassing and historic low. Senate Democrats can thank former Majority Leader and future ankle-bracelet-wearing convict Chuck Chvala (among the co-conspirators) for handing Senate Republicans the majority.

Whoa, perhaps that’s the real lesson; Republicans need to toss DeLay from leadership before he brings down the House.

Ethics Matter

Last month, a Wall Street Journal editorial jammed House Majority Leader Tom DeLay for becoming the “living exemplar of some of {Congress’s} worst habits.”

When the highly read, conservative WSJ Opinion Page fires live rounds at one of their own, perhaps it’s time to blow the bugle and retreat.

DeLay appears to have forgotten the message behind the 1994 Congressional Elections - sweeping Republicans into the majority for the first time since the Eisenhower Administration – Ethics matter.

The WSJ continues;

Whether Mr. DeLay violated the small print of House Ethics or campaign-finance rules is thus largely beside the point. His real fault lies in betraying the broader set of principles that brought him into office, and which, if he continues as before, sooner or later will sweep him out.

As House Republicans clumsily reverse their House Ethics by-laws, they must be yearning for the good ole days of Bob Livingston, who stepped down as speaker-elect, rather than force his Party to rally ‘round him.

The Eternal Riddle

I am a seeker of Truth.

You might guess that statement would be attributed to such soulful spirits as Gandhi, the Dali Lama, or Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

Guess again.

The greatest scientific mind since Newton was also a spiritual pilgrim – Nobel laureate Albert Einstein.

Einstein died 50 years ago this month, and perhaps the portion of his bio that is most overlooked is his faith in the unproven – a higher being – God.

Albert Einstein is the embodiment of intellect coexisting with faith. And the lesson for the rest of us is, questions of religion, faith and God can indeed withstand the challenges of science.

His pursuit of a super-theory of everything included his pursuit, as Einstein said, to read the mind of God. In other words, Einstein’s faith accepted the unknown reality that eventually, science and religion would intersect.

Astronomer Carl Sagen wrote a novel in the 1990s that later became the Hollywood movie, Contact. The movie starred Mathew McConaughey as a religious leader and Jodie Foster as, you guessed it, an astronomer, who believes signals from space has directed her to build an Ark, of sorts -- a time machine.

The movie symbolizes the tug-o-war between science and faith;

I'm not against technology, doctor. I'm against the men who deify it at the expense of human truth.

What the makes the story compelling is how the movie applies the epiphany usually associated with a religious awakening and applies the language to a scientific experience;

I...had an experience. I can't prove it, I can't even explain it, but everything that I know as a human being, everything that I am tells me that it was real. I was given something wonderful, something that changed me forever. A vision of the universe, that tells us undeniably, how tiny, and insignificant and how... rare, and precious we all are! A vision that tells us that we belong to something that is greater then ourselves, that we are not, that none of us are alone.

Sagen captured the soul of Einstein.

Space; The final frontier? Einstein might disagree.

The soul; The final frontier. And perhaps, they intersect.

What Were Their Mothers Thinking?

I am guessing mothers of future NFL draft picks don’t think about the other possibilities before naming their bundle of joy swaddled next to them…ahhh, Deuce, ohhh, Kenyatta, ahhh, Dunta, someday they’ll call you…Mr. President.

In remembrance of Johnny Cash, the NFL Boy Named Sue Award nominates the following class of 2005 (first names only);

Ciatrick***Braylon***Marviel***Tyjuan
Erasmus***Anttaj***Craphonso***Ceandris
LeRon*** Santonio* Roydell***Keyonta
Antrel** Ottowa*** Airese**** Madison (C’mon, it’s a girl’s name)
Darrent* Demarcus**Junius**** Jeb (Can’t be President, right?)

Jimmy Carter's Failure

Does the person, or events, win the White House?

25 years ago today, the failure of Operation Eagle Claw may be among the biggest events to propel a divorced, aging, movie actor and two-time loser for the presidential nomination, into the Presidency and into the history books.

444 days; 52 Americans were held hostage in Iran. 444 days; President Jimmy Carter stumbled and bumbled. 444 days; America was held hostage.

Every night, like a drippy faucet, network news aired images of our flag being burned and trampled, of blindfolded Americans, of a lost US State Department, and of an impotent United Nations.

Then, finally, Commander-In-Chief Jimmy Carter ordered a rescue mission. The mission was aborted, but not until 8 soldiers died.

Another 6 months ticked-by before the hostages were released – on the day Ronald Reagan took the oath of office.

America had rejected Jimmy Carter.

But what if? What if the rescue mission had succeeded, and all 52 hostages made their way to the C-130 cargo planes and landed at Andrews Air Force Base to be welcomed by President Jimmy Carter’s toothy smile?

Couldn’t happen.

Decisions that define a person are not made in a single moment, but rather, our character is built over the course of time. For the very reason Jimmy Carter defeated President Gerald Ford in 1976, Carter’s southern demeanor and meek disposition could not concieve a military doctrine designed to prevent radical extremists from attacking our embassies.

In this absense, why would anyone think Carter could order the U.S. military to plot a bold and aggressive strategy to rescue our embassy?

Every Presidential campaign can be Monday-morning quarterbacked; What if Woodrow Wilson had lost the close election of 1916? Would the U.S. have entered World War I?

The mainstream media will focus on headlines and current events as the dominant factor that brings people to the Presidency. However, as Reagan speech writer Peggy Noonan said best, character matters.

Pack Picks a QB

Ooooooo-noooooo.......

Another first round QB pick from Cal.

The last Cal QB the Packers drafted is now bartending in Fond du Lac with a former Wisconsin governor.

Pack on the Clock

Ohhhm....Ohhhm...Ohhhm....

O Reggie, O Vince, even you Ron Wolf, someone please keep Ted Thompson and Mike Sherman from picking a QB with their first pick.

We need a starter, preferably on defense.

Vikings Keep Sticking It To Us

With the 18th pick of the first round, the Minnesota Vikings pick Erasmus James from the University of Wisconsin.

If you can't grow your own players with high character (Randy Moss, Chris Hovan), then come to Wisconsin and take ours (Michael Bennett, Darren Sharper, Erasmus James).

And remember you Viking fans, ex-Viking coach Bud Grant lives across the river...in Wisconsin.

Detroit is Stacked

Damn, thought the Pack would escape not having to line-up against 6'5" Mike Williams.

Quick, Bates, stuff several hundred Jobe's Plant Spikes into smurf Ahmad Carroll's....power drink.

Coach Mooch is on his way to introducing his version of Air-Coryell to the NFC North.

Vikings - No Big Jump

Minnesota Vikings take Troy Williamson, Gamecock. If Williamson is anything like the only other first round pick from South Carolina, Sterling Sharpe, then the Packers are a wildcard team at best.

It could have been worse...can you imagine GB smurf DB Ahmad Carroll lining-up against 6'5" USC Mike Williams?

Carroll should be able to stay with speed receivers, such as Williamson, but you can't cover what you can't reach.

Bears Get Better

University of Texas running back Cedric Benson combines the smash mouth running style of former Houston Oiler Earl Campbell, with the open field gallop of former Dallas Cowboy Tony Dorsett.

Unfortunately for Green Bay's wimpy D-line, small LBs, and smurf D-backs, Benson landed in Chicago.

NFL Draft Day

Thank You George Carlin for, as Howard Cosell would say, Telling it like it is.
_________

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
Football is played on a GRIDIRON, in a STADIUM, sometimes called SOLDIER FIELD or WAR MEMORIAL STADIUM.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up!"

In football you recieve a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting, and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: Rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...can't see the game, don't know if there is a game going on; mud on the field...can't read the uniforms, can't read the yard markers, the struggle will continue!
In baseball if it rains, we don't go out to play. "I can't go out! It's raining out!"

Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch.
Football has the two-minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: "We don't know when it's gonna end!"
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end "even if we have to go to sudden death."

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling. Emotions may run high or low, but there's not that much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you were perfectly capable of taking the life of a fellow human being

And finally, the objectives of the the two games are completely different:

In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his recievers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! "I hope I'll be safe at home!"

The Catholics Respond

Seems my post regarding the Catholic Conclave’s choice of a white European as the new Pope is not sitting well with, uhhhh, Catholics.

Go figure.

Let me repeat an earlier post – I AM NOT CATHOLIC.

Married at Cardinal George’s home parish? Yes. First and second sons baptized at the same cardinal’s cathedral? Yes. Praying my boys’ aptitude and pedigree will win scholarships to Notre Dame? God Yes.

Convert to Catholicism? To paraphrase Will Rogers, I wouldn’t want to belong to an organization that would have me as a member.

Thus, as a Protestant, I reserve the right, yea, duty, to challenge the dogmas of the Vatican; albeit with the greatest amount of respect.

For you American Catholics, though, that are cheering this doctrinaire, conservative Papacy, Pope Benedict XVI is frowning on those in his flock supporting female clergy, gay marriage, married priests.

Before you point fingers and sharp words, go walk the walk, then talk the talk.

Those shoes pinch a bit, eh?

MNF - RIP

Monday Night Football has gone the way that network news will soon follow - to cable.

After 60 Minutes, no other program has aired longer than MNF. And like 60 Minutes, no other program has aged as poorly as MNF. Would someone at Disney, owners of both ABC and ESPN, please drive John Madden and his bus – BOOM – into the ocean?

Some might say MNF football’s decline began when ex-Maryland Terp QB Boomer Esiason was replaced in the booth by Saturday Night Live Weekend Update’s Dennis Miller.

Myself, I say MNF was hijacked by Hank Williams Jr., and any of the jiggling, giggling T & A bimbos that twirled their hair and wet their lips as they talked at the camera about game-time weather conditions from the teams’ bench areas.

And Hank? You sell-out.

As for Disney, if you plan to get back to the game, hire ex-Bengal and HBO’s Cris Collinsworth for the booth. If you must, team Collinsworth with Wisconsin’s own Frank Caliendo (MAD TV). His impersonation of John Madden is more insightful than the real John Madden.

White Smoke

Much like the post-Ronald Reagan era in the U.S., or the post-Margaret Thatcher era across the pond, the Catholic Church proved unable to fill a giant’s shoes.

At a time when the world faces epidemic hunger, poverty, illiteracy, the conclave fell short. At a time when the world needed a global Papacy, the conclave retreated to the comfy confines of a white, European Church.

From the muck of hunger, poverty and illiteracy will sprout the next generation of dictators, military juntas and evil-doers. At least 78 cardinals failed the lessons of John Paul’s Papacy; that one man can transform the world. Pope John Paul brought down a corrupt ideology.

John Paul’s life was its own testimony; made more powerful precisely because he was not an Italian Pope. He evangelized the Papacy precisely because he was forced to hide his faith in Nazi Poland, or be killed because of it.

Imagine, what might be transformed had the conclave elected a black Pope from Africa. Might the tide of radical Muslim fundamentalism be reversed?

Imagine, what might be transformed had the conclave elected a brown Pope from Latin America. Might the 3rd World finally begin to participate in the global economy?

The world needs big people...

Lautenschlager Strategy Revealed

Lautenschlager Reelection Campaign Plan
1. Terminate staff for failing to spin Top Cop’s arrest
off the front page…check;

2. Manipulate public sympathy for Top Cop’s personal illness….check;

3. Exploit deadly shootings of deer hunters in Northwest WI…check;

4. Court Pro-DNR/tree-hugger/acorn-eaters; sue a
GOP town board…check;

5. Recruit African-American support; scheme another lawsuit…check;

Remaining Items:
6. Hire former State Rep. Peter Bock as campaign manager;

7. Circulate rumors of Dane Co. Kathleen Falk's love child
with Mark Belling;

8. Invite former boss Bill Clinton to reelection announcement;

9. Borrow trial attorney Robert Habush’s ATM card;

10. Beg for Governor Doyle’s endorsement;

Life in a Syringe

Without laws, scientists of all flavors will push the bounds of exploration. It’s what scientists do. The counter-weight to pure science is law. Law establishes boundaries. Law establishes justice. And the foundation of our laws is rooted in morality.

This brings us to the cross-roads of Stem Cells.

Science wants it all – aborted fetuses in exchange for the promise of paradise. A world where fatal diseases, paralysis, even amputation is re-cast as a curable condition.

Just one problem; as of today, it is a false prophet. (story)

So why has the liberal mass media all but ignored the less invasive (medical and spiritual) stem cell harvest from umbilical cord blood?

4 million babies are born in the U.S. every year, and nearly all their umbilical cord blood is thrown away. But back in 2000, a woman donated her newborn’s UCB that scientists then extracted stem cells from and, 2 years later, injected into a boy from Ohio who suffered from Leukemia.

Today, that boy is a healthy 16 year old high school kid living big-time, with plans and dreams and goals and life!

Scientists of Nazi Germany applied no moral code to their research; research that resulted in the butchering of pregnant women, disfiguring Jewish children, and euthanizing the elderly.

As our culture moves forward, we should not ignore the past.

Lautenschlager Courts Pro-DNR Vote

A sure sign that Democrat Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager is looking over her shoulder at potential primary challengers, is her press release announcing DOJ will sue a Walworth County town for dredging a pond.

Nothing like bringing a tank to a play-ground dust-up.

Three town board supervisors are being sued for lack of proper DNR permits – although DNR ok’ed dredging 2-3 inches without a permit, not the 10-12 inches that was requested and evidently, completed by the town.

How many levels of transparent political positioning can we find with this maneuver?

1. Incumbent Lautenschlager will face a primary opponent. It’s a done deal;
2. Democrat primary voters are tree-huggers and acorn-eaters;
3. Dane County Executive Kathleen Falk wants to run (again) statewide;
4. Years back, Falk was the last to serve as Public Intervener;
5. Public Interveners are loved by tree-huggers and acorn-eaters;
6. Top Cop Lautenschlager drove a car into a ditch;
7. Top Cop Lautenschlager had too many pops before the ditch stopped her;
8. Top Cop Lautenschlager was uninjured, but the state-owned car was not;
9. The incumbent AG needs help from tree-huggers and acorn-eaters;
10. Walworth County is too GOP for Democrat Primary candidates to care about;

As a former town board supervisor, I can say the only loser in this legal charade are Wisconsin taxpayers – we will end-up paying on both ends; paying to defend the town board and paying the Attorney General and DOJ staff to prosecute the town board.

And about a year from now, tree-huggers and acorn-eaters will have a brochure urging them to support Peg Lautenschlager over Kathleen Falk – citing Peg’s tireless energy to protect our state’s natural resources, such as a pond in Walworth County.

The Book On...Revelations

I just finished watching NBC’s miniseries “Revelations.” As a frequent critic of how the mainstream media ignores issues of faith and religion, I felt it my duty to watch, albeit with an eyebrow raised above a skeptical eye.

The story-line is classic God v. Science material. A Harvard professor (Harvard, the crucible of secular thought) debunks God’s works with cold analysis, while Satan is manifested in a child murderer condemned to death. A third character, a nun who joined the Church looking for meaning after a personal tragedy, serves as an intermediary between the Harvard-Know-It-All and signs of miracles that are taking place.

Americans react to faith-based programs in many different ways. But when the acting and production is on par with more secular programming, such as West Wing, and the show is entertaining, like Law and Order, it is all we can ask of Hollywood movie-makers.

Good shows begat more viewers begat higher advertising rates begat more network revenue begat more faith-based programming.

The Return of Joe Wineke

By any analysis, former State Senator and Verona Do-Gooder Joe Wineke should be serving in Congress today. Had Dane County Executive Rick Phelps not diluted his party’s primary vote, Wineke would be entrenched in Washington, leaving then-state Rep. Tammy Baldwin waiting for long, long, long serving state Sen. Fred Risser to leave with his boots on. Instead, Tammy became Wisconsin’s first female in Congress, and Wineke is poised to be elected state Democrat Party Chairman.

Republicans would have rather suffered Wineke on Capitol Hill than facing him in swing districts across Wisconsin.

Since the retirement of WEAC political gun Morrie Andrews, and the departure of WEAC’s John Stocks, Democrats have suffered a campaign vacuum. Republicans have exploited the weakness like a cheetah knocking down its prey. Nature culls the feeble.

An historic low 40 Dem seats in the 99 member State Assembly -- despite electing a Democrat governor for the first time since 1982? A state senate that has a fractured Republican majority calling each other RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) -- despite Democrats holding both U.S. Senate seats? The state’s largest county, with its largest pool of Democrat voters electing, and reelecting, a conservative Republican county executive who emerged from the GOP-controlled Assembly chambers?

Opportunity races are everywhere in 2006.

Regrettably, Democrats have identified their weakness and recruited a fiercely partisan, articulate cheerleader; a beer bottle street fighter who will craft political rhetoric with the smoothness of a watch-maker.

If Wineke corrals the Deaniacs, the labor unions, the public unions, the Milwaukee money, and his statewide officeholders, then he may achieve something for the disappearing Democrat Party of Wisconsin.

However, I am hoping that a tribute from a former state Republican Party director will serve to doom Wineke’s bid for state Party chairman. I wish he had gone to Congress.

Feral Cats as Musky Lures

The Wisconsin Conservation Congress will vote on recommending to the DNR an open hunting season on feral cats.

A marketing suggestion for all those feral cat carcasses…rig them with a 9 inch swivel leader with a willow leaf spinner blade and an Eagle Claw Lazer treble hook. Place on cardboard and bubble wrap.

The squeamish can purchase their Cat-Tail Musky Top-Water Lures at their nearest Wal-Mart. Look for lure names Mitten, Snowball, and Fluffy, every model will bring trophy fish to the boat.

My favorite is Olive; a chartreuse colored mid-size kitty for the stained water of Lake Koshkonong.

Happy casting....whizzzzzzz, sploosh, slap, slap, slap, slap - ka-bam!

How to Beat Herb Kohl

According to people who measure such things, Fox's broadcast of the NASCAR race at Bristol not only posted the track's highest rating ever, but it also earned higher ratings than ABC's NBA games in the four home markets that had their teams playing during race coverage. More people watched NASCAR than the NBA in Boston, Dallas, Minneapolis and Philadelphia.

I suggest to any prospective challenger to Senator/Bucks owner Herb Kohl, if you want to win a seat in the US Senate, bring a Nextel Cup race to Wisconsin. Preferably, Janesville.

The Harley Davidson "400" has a ring to it.

Big Thoughts, Small Opinions

Big Thought: Sometime prior to the mid-term elections, Chief Justice Rehnquist retires and Justice Antoine Scalia is named Chief.

Small Opinion: Reminiscent of a West Wing episode, Karl Rove stimulates conservative voter turnout, simultaneously agreeing quietly to protect Republican governors against Roe V. Wade landing back in their states by encouraging a moderate/liberal appointment that would oppose overturning Roe.

Big Thought: Senator Russ Feingold travels to Texas, where, at the Alamo, he courts the Hispanic vote with a pledge to return the site to its proper owners.

Small Opinion: Never one to forego the theater of politics, Feingold announces his campaign for President with a declaration on his garage door and a photo op at the Janesville General Motors Plant. Expect an announcement on March 2nd, 2007 – the Senator’s birthday.

Big Thought: House Republicans add to their majority in 2006.

Small Opinion: Contrary to the mainstream media, Terri Schiavo reminds thousands of Evangelicals per House District that Republicans stand for compassion and faith.

Big Thought: Congressman Tom Delay cannot be an issue for Republicans in 2006.

Small Opinion: If Delay continues to serve, retract previous Big Thought.

Big Thought: President Bush announces the return of all American military service personnel from Iraq on Memorial Day, 2006.

Small Opinion: Florida Governor Jeb Bush hosts the Welcome Home Picnic at the Port of Jacksonville. US Senator John McCain is notably absent.

Big Thought: Senator Herb Kohl sells the Milwaukee Bucks prior to the end of the current season, hoping to avoid negative press attention leading-up to his November 2006 US Senate reelection

Small Opinion: The new owners, comprised of construction industry executives, contemplate moving the team to Guam, embarrassing Kohl into forced retirement, resulting in the election of construction industry executive, Tim Michels.

Obey's Origins

Back in 1988, I left Jack Kemp and Washington, DC to tackle the challenge of defeating Rep. Dave Obey. To us conservatives, beating Obey represented the ultimate – an accomplishment that would surely catapult a career for both the winning Republican and the manager who orchestrated the effort.

16 years later, Republicans have given-up. Last November, Obey was reelected without opposition. And today, we are left with the amusement of shooting spitballs at the new portrait of Wisconsin’s longest serving member of Congress.

Egad, how did liberal Dave Obey win 18 elections? His long tenure was launched with his first two campaigns against well-known Republicans. First-up was a special election victory over a respected Cronkite-esque former TV news anchor. Next, Congressman Alvin O’Konski lost when Wisconsin lost a House seat and redistricting pitted the two incumbents against each other; a rare occurrence that Tom Barrett and Jerry Kleczka avoided 30 years later when Barrett vacated to run for governor. Obey solidified his seat in Congress in the 1970s when the Nixon impeachment discouraged Republican challengers.

Republicans began to rebound in the 1980s – first with Reagan’s landslide in 1980 and then with Tommy Thompson in 1986. By this time, Obey had either built-up a wealth of political favors through constituent service, or he simply threatened the businesses who might financially support a pro-business Republican challenger.

It was also during the 1980s that 1970s campaign finance reforms brought an enormous proliferation of PACs. Sound familiar? Incumbent Obey exploited PAC money to bully and discourage opponents. His huge war chest was never built on small local contributors.

For the next 10 years, Obey faced attacks for his out-dated brand of liberalism. Yet, 7th District ticket-splitters felt no contradiction in voting for Obey and Reagan in 1984 and Obey and Thompson in 1986, 1990, 1994 and 1998.

Realistically, only an incumbent could dedicate the travel time needed to reach the corners of the district. Over 200 miles separates southern Portage County from northern Douglas County. The 1980s however, were not boom times for northern Wisconsin. None of the billions of federal dollars being spent on national defense came to Wisconsin. Also, US trade embargoes limited agriculture and timber exports.

What Republican candidates failed to recognize is most voters Up North do not view government as the bogeyman. Many voters work for local municipalities or are dependent on government involvement in their lives. The Seventh has a higher percentage of old people than anywhere else in Wisconsin. Social Security, veteran benefits, assisted living facilities, hospital care, hospice care, and public transportation are all issues that impact an older age demographic.

Tommy Thompson recognized the needs of Up North and launched new government spending to influence key constituent groups. Tommy initiated a spending boom on tourism – benefiting the vast northern Wisconsin hospitality industry. Tommy also increased state highway construction, encouraging tourists to drive further Up North for recreation. County road crews, local excavators, concrete providers, surveyors, developers and the trucking industry all benefited from Thompson’s “FDR-like” approach to government.

Employment opportunities Up North suffered from a lack of diversity and thus were dependent on county, state, and federal spending; which is why Tommy’s welfare reform programs were not introduced Up North, but rather in the industrial south, where both ex-welfare recipient and ex-welfare processor could find bountiful employment opportunities.

Many argue had the Republican grassroots and pro-business organizations been more cohesive, or more active, that Obey might not have lasted this long. Others might argue that Obey’s recent call for Universal Health Care should serve as a siren call for a future anti-Obey crusade;

If the Republicans want me to leave, my advice is pass universal health care, and I will leave tomorrow as a present to them.

Writing as someone who knows the pain of losing to Dave Obey, he has no need to schmooze the business community. He understands perfectly that the betting money will never unite against someone who owns so much clout in Washington. He’ll leave boots first.

Norway's Response

As long as the country doesn't demand a return of my Dale of Norway sweaters!

This is to ANNOUNCE that the PEOPLE of NORWAY have posted a Persona Non Grata on BRIAN CHRISTIANSON of the Town of Fulton, County of Rock, State of Wisconsin, United States of America due to his attack on the ROYAL FAMILY of NORWAY.

It is SHOCKING that on the 9th of APRIL 2005, the anniversary of the GERMAN invasion of NORWAY in 1940, the person, Brian Christianson, issued an attack on the ROYAL FAMILY of NORWAY. This action is to be seen as on a par with that of Vidkun Quisling in 1940.

PENDING full withdrawal of the attack with APOLOGY to their majesties, KING HARALD and QUEEN SONJA and ALL the PEOPLE of NORWAY, be it KNOWN that ALL passport stations in NORWAY have been notified to prevent the entrance of Brian Christianson and any co-conspirators from the ROYAL KINGOM OF NORWAY effectively immediately.

It is to be stated that the ROYAL FAMILY of NORWAY is the beloved royal family of the PEOPLE of NORWAY which has received consistent compliments from the PEOPLE. The PEOPLE of NORWAY choose to maintain and protect the ROYAL FAMILY from the infringement of the IMPERIALIST attitudes and behaviors of the USA.

The call has gone out to former USA Ambassador to NORWAY, Thomas Loftus to provide support to the ROYAL NORWEGIAN GOVERNMENT and its PEOPLE to confront the President of the USA, George W. Bush with all deliberate speed to express the consternation of his misguided thinking and policy vis-a-vis NORWAY.

NORWAY has instructed its ambassadors in the USA and at the United Nations to PROTEST forthrightly the statement of the USA re. the ROYAL FAMILY of NORWAY.

Sealed at the ROYAL NORWEGIAN CONSULATE in Wisconsin on this 9th day of APRIL 2005.

A Mission for the United Nations

With the death of Monaco’s Prince Rainier and the 2nd marriage of England’s Prince Charles this week, it is time for the global community to bring an end to this bizarre institution of monarchies.

Monarchies hide personal lives stranger than that of our own Michael Jackson (who named all his children Prince.) Scratch the surface of a Royal Family. What is exposed is murder, incest, theft, sabotage, and greed in massive quantities.

Certainly, our history is to go to war with kings. And since WWII, we have used our paramilitary to overtly and covertly overthrow tyrants and dictators. Thus I propose;

Whereas: Monarchies serve to enslave people, and,
Whereas: The Bush Doctrine serves to liberate people,

Therefore Be It
Resolved: Our moral duty is to declare action on monarchies, and,

Be It Further
Resolved: The United Nations send blue helmet troops to Norway and arrest the monarchy, and,

Be It Finally
Resolved: The imprisonment of the Norwegian monarchy serves as a warning to the world’s sheiks, princes, kings, and all despots, that all men are created equal, endowed by the Creator with unalienable rights.

As Charles prepares to marry his nanny, and after Rainier changed Monaco’s constitution to insure his royal lineage continues even as Albert hides his sexual preference, it is time for the United Nations to stop the madness.

Let’s go kick some crown jewels.

Pope Tommy I

I am one of those small town kids who believe no office is too big for Tommy Thompson. What he achieved for himself coming out of Elroy – a hiccup on the map in South West Wisconsin – is the stuff movies are made of. No other individual has had a greater impact on Wisconsin’s political and policy landscape; not Bill Proxmire, and his Golden Fleece Awards, not Gaylord Nelson, and Earth Day. Earth Day? Rings of the Festivus for the Rest of Us episode from Seinfeld.

Which is why on the eve of the Catholic Church’s conclave, I submit Tommy Thompson as a candidate for Pope.

Why not? It is true he has never been a cardinal and the marriage thing trips him with the traditionalists. However, if the Church truly intends to focus on Third World poverty, famine, and illiteracy, then Tommy’s tenure as Health and Human Services Secretary should serve as testimony to the 117 voters that will be gathering in the Sistine Chapel.

All we need is 78 votes, far fewer than the 1 million plus Tommy received when he dusted Ed Garvey. Granted, without TV, radio, telemarketing, mail, web sites or email available to campaign among the cardinals, our tools of persuasion are limited.

So I suggest we masquerade our campaign by slipping an icon in the cardinals’ gift bags. On one side, an image of Tommy looking pensive across the African Continent. On the other, his quote after a DOD weapons program was abandoned;

And I think to myself how many wells could I dig with $8 billion? How many clinics could I open? How many hospitals could I build in Afghanistan and Iraq or Palestine or Iran or Sudan with that kind of money? And it’s a much more lasting, permanent effect than sending troops in and trying to quell the terrorists.

With that, Tommy would win endorsements from both Pope John Paul II and St. Peter.

Exit Polls and Photo ID

I voted today and on the way out to my truck, I conducted my own personal exit poll. Because people know me at the town hall from when I was their elected supervisor, no one ran, or scowled, or flagged-down our town constable, Big Blaine.

I simply asked, if you had to, could you produce a picture ID before voting today?

Keep in mind that our small square of Rock County is dominated by farms, scattered subdivisions and seasonal residents with summer homes along the water. And back in 1984, when Ronald Reagan was riding a Morning in America landslide, our township went for Mondale. Young people do not stay here, so the median age of our voters is somewhere near the age of Moses.

In the business of politics and polling, we call the above items, cross-tabs.

I live in an area where if you have the right last name, more than half of the township is related to you. No need for picture-proof among this group; the poll worker is your mother’s aunt from your grandpa’s side.

However, given Wisconsin’s free-wheeling residency suggestions, seasonal residents represent potential mayhem to our ageless volunteer poll workers – some who may not read as well as Moses.

I am pleased to report that, here in Wisconsin’s Tobacco Land, 100% of those surveyed replied that providing a photo ID before voting “is not a big deal.”

If You Choose not to Decide, You Still have made a Choice.

Tomorrow is Election Day in Wisconsin. Does anyone care? Does anyone know?

I have voted in every election since I turned 18 – every election, from special elections to recall elections, from Presidential primaries to gubernatorial primaries. I have voted for judges, clerks, sheriffs, casinos, new schools, Senators, even a coroner or two. Depending where my residence was at the time and the call of the election, I have voted in January, February, March, April, June, July, September, November, and December.

And on the eve of Election Day, I have yet to receive a single campaign message – not one TV ad, not one radio ad. I have received no mail, no telemarketing calls, no volunteers have knocked on my door. No door-hangers with cheesy candidate head-shots, no brochures printed in reflex blue have been left wedged between my doors.

And guess what – I am not alone. And guess again – the percentage of voter turnout will barely break into the teens tomorrow. County clerks say “high” turnout may reach into the low 20s.

Compare those numbers with the last Presidential election. As the propeller-heads in academia and the blow-hards on network TV derided the millions, if not a billion, dollars spent cumulatively among the political parties, the 527s, the candidate campaign committees and other legal entities, voter participation soared to record levels.

Money buys message that drives awareness that leads to participation.

Tomorrow is not a conclave of 117 Cardinals voting to elect the next Holy Father. I want TV ads telling me why a candidate deserves my vote. I want radio ads exposing the warts of their opponent. I want to make a judgment whether those TV and radio ads are fair.

Democracy is making decisions. I want a reason to vote.

Karol Wojtyla, The Man

Regardless of your politics or your religion, it is irrefutable Pope John Paul was a man who bestowed tremendous inspiration upon the world.

Back in February 1997, I had the opportunity to meet Lech Walesa in Warsaw. He told our group the fall of communism should be credited to the Polish Pope. The Solidarity movement was as much a moral crusade as it was a labor-political campaign.

This is a man who saw the worst side of humanity, and yet, faith carried him into the priesthood. As Nazis exterminated Polish Jews, this man risked helping Jews escape Europe. During Communist occupation, this man, now a bishop, stood strong against Stalin. When an assassin failed to complete his mission, this man went to the prison to forgive.

I do not know if Pope John Paul was a successor to St. Peter, as catechism teaches, but I do believe that the Holy Spirit delivered this man, Karol Wojtyla, through historic times to be an historic leader.

Welcome and Be Afraid

WisPolitics is a top notch publication, and yet they still offered a Blue-collar Kid from Janesville space to write big thoughts and small opinions.

Religion and politics – the 2 topics every bartender will caution against discussing – but what else adds so much flavor to life? The key, I think, is to be capable of feeling passionate about your values and opinions, while maintaining one’s composure when confronted by morons.

So, welcome to Free Will, where religion and politics mixed with a few cocktails combine to expose the morons amongst us.

If you are unsure where you land on the circular spectrum of wisdom, then I invite you to send me your comments for determination. And it is possible that you might be so wise that your knowledge carries you full circle, back to being an incomprehensible moron – like Hunter S. Thompson.

As for myself, I offer these nuggets of absolute wisdom;

• In our politically-correct-hyphenated-culture, I am a Norwegian-American;
• Ed Thompson is our modern version of Will Rogers;
• Government corruption is the worst kind;
• Nobody is owed anything;
• Someone I’d like to drink with – Jeffrey Feiger;
• Someone I have drunk with – P.J. O’Rourke;
• I like both kinds of music, Country and Western;
• In America, fishing and bowling is a sport;
• Best Movie Lines;

What you see is a guy who never measured a man's success by the size of his WALLET!

I wasn't in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it. I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While PUSSIES like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and listening to the GODDAMN BEATLE ALBUMS! OH! OH! OH!

• The Chicago Tribune's John Kass it our best modern muckraker;
• The NFL is our real national pastime;
• Followed by NASCAR;
• Oprah is never wrong;
• Teddy Kennedy is never right;
• The best time of day is when my 2 & 4 yr boys go to bed..and when they wake;
• Be American, Buy American;
• Thank a soldier/veteran when you pass-by;
• Being married isn’t as bad as I once envisioned;

See you in the Funny pages…..